In the following letter, my husband shows how he shifts his focus towards love. I am sooo proud of him. To find such amazing discipline in a negative environment demonstrates incredible self-mastery of the mind.
My husband is in prison. It doesn’t matter where we are, we all have a choice to control our thoughts. (You’ll LOVE this poem he wrote: –Who I Am–)
Knowing that the power of our love has helped aid & comfort him through a potentially dangerous situation makes me want to just wrap my arms around him and never let go.
Hello My Sweet Lady,
I miss you. I can’t wait to hold you again and kiss your soft lips. Mwah. I just spent 5 minutes re-setting my mind. I had to come to my cell and meditate. I directed my mind to thoughts of us. Suzie my darling, I love you sooo much.
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At one point or another, we all get feelings of insecurities. My wife is no exception. Over the past two years she has voiced her concerns and insecurities. Compound that with anxiety and depression and you have a recipe for disaster.
Suzie and I went through a phase where all her pent up emotions exploded! I didn’t know what to do. So I shut down for a few weeks. That means no phone calls, no emails, and no letters.
Then I realized that by shutting down, I’m giving up.
I love Suzie too much to give up. Especially during her deepest darkest hour of need, when she needs me the most. I am her husband, her best friend, and her partner in life.
I realized it was time for me to man up and do everything in my power to be the person she needs me to be. And it all starts with UNDERSTANDING. So I educated myself on anxiety and depression. I learned what to do & what not to do.
I read an article called: 9 Best Ways To Support Someone With Depression
The #1 thing on that list simply said, BE THERE.
I immediately reached out to my baby and apologized for not being there and for not being understanding.
#8 on the list says, LEARN AS MUCH AS YOU CAN
#9 on the list says, BE PATIENT
I applied everything I learned.
Suzie married me because she wanted to, not because she had to. I am a man in prison for the next 18 years. Talk about sacrifice on her behalf! Of course there are going to be times where emotions arise, for the both of us.
Suzie was 29 years old when we got married. There’s so much I can’t give her. But what I can give her is ME. All of me. All of my very best. I will do whatever it is I need to do. I’m going to love her with all my heart and soul. UNCONDITIONALLY!!!
I am reminded of a previous blog I posted called, Love.
I love my wife. I am making it my mission to truly understand her.
I’m constantly asking her if I can do anything better in our marriage. I asked her to compose a list of things I can do to make her feel loved & cherished. She did. And every day I do a few things from that list.
Our communication is wide open and honest. Today she tells me exactly what’s on her mind the instant it happens. When issues arise, we talk it out until we find an acceptable remedy. My #1 priority is her happiness.
In the past, she would let things build up. This would cause her stress. She wouldn’t speak up because she thought it was stupid or insignificant. And all the while, I would be wondering what was wrong. I didn’t have a clue.
Today I have a clue. I make it my business to truly understand my wife.
With knowledge comes understanding. With understanding comes love. And Love Conquers All!
Life is a journey. We live, learn, and grow. If you love someone you’ll take the time to understand them. With love & compassion, you can overcome anything. With all of this in mind, I wrote this poem to my wife: You’ve Opened My Eyes
I’m glad I read this scripture today. As simple as it is, it gives me a deeper understanding of love. It gives me a basic understanding of how to truly love.
How many people truly love someone else? According to this scripture, I’d have to say it’s less than you think. Based on their actions, millions of husbands and wives are living in marriages that lack love.
Being rude, is not love.
Getting mad easily, is not love.
Keeping records of each other’s wrongs, is not love.
Lying to each other, is not love.
I can say, “I love you” all day. But true love is within my actions.
And now that this simple scripture has given me a profound understanding, the words, “I love you” have a deeper meaning to me. I will always strive to love in the exact way that this scripture describes.
To my wife, family, and friends…I LOVE YOU!
Everybody has a voice. Everybody has an opinion. These voices and opinions have great range.
The topic: Suzie & I getting married.
The range: from love to hate.
So why do some people love it, and others hate it? The situation is exactly the same to everyone. And that is: I married a good, wholesome, honest, beautiful woman, and I am in prison.
All of the people who love it, they know me. But the people who are skeptical, who aren’t supportive, and who flat out hate it…well, they don’t know me. They only know my situation: that I am a man in prison.
These ranges of feelings are to be expected. I completely understand. I would not want any of my loved ones developing a relationship with an inmate. I don’t care how much of a “good guy” he is. I would say, “There are BILLIONS of free guys for you out there! Please make your selection from that pool, and leave the pool within prisons alone.”
I’ll be the first to admit, I got extremely lucky with Suzie. The #1 thing I love about her is how much she loves me.
I treat her the way God intended for a man to treat a woman. Her happiness and comfort level is my number one priority. She is my angel in a world full of demons. I cherish her, honor her, and respect her. I love her with all my heart.
Together we have goals and plans. We have mapped out our future together. We’ve talked about EVERYTHING. Our honesty and openness brings us so much closer. I respect her views as she does mine. Together we compromise as we strengthen our circle of harmony.
Suzie tells me that she’s never been happier. Isn’t that what life is about? Happiness.
We are both extremely happy. Won’t you be happy for us too? Please. Just find it in your heart to give us a chance. Be kind and supportive towards Suzie, my wife. Share in her happiness. Life is too short for anything else.
Love conquers all!
May your days be filled with joy and happiness.
Ever heard of WriteAPrisoner.com?
What about Goodprisoners.com?
Out of hundreds of pen-pal websites for prisoners, these are the two I chose.
It took me about 9 years, but I found her. The love of my life. The most amazing woman I know.
My strategy was simple. Be bold and straight forward.
I’ve been on these sites for years. I have received tons of hits, only to find out that most these people are a waste of my time & postage.
Most men in prison will settle for the first woman who shows interest. These men use & abuse until the money is sucked dry. Or until they get out of prison…then it’s “good-bye”.
I see these relationships scattered throughout the visiting room. I feel sorry for these women. They have no idea what’s in store for them.
I could never play with someone’s emotions like that. So if I feel someone isn’t right for me, I nip it in the bud before it even starts. I was doing A LOT of nipping! My approach was all wrong. For years my ads read like this:
Somewhere in my heart beyond all my pride, I have a secret desire so intense it can’t hide.
A desire for someone to cherish and hold, the need for a love in my world that’s so cold.
Someone who keeps me shining through the day and night. Because living without love just doesn’t feel right.
Someone who will be there to kiss away my tears, secure my doubts, and release my fears.
Someone I can depend on to be a friend, who can restore my faith in love once again.
Maybe I’m wrong and shouldn’t be telling you this, but love is the feeling I so desperately miss.
Hi! Not only am I looking for a pen-pal, I’m also looking for someone I can share emotion with. I have a desire to love someone, but being in prison for the past 10 years makes it hard. I’m open and honest with good values. I know you have lots of questions, so don’t hold back. Ask me anything you desire. Let’s have fun getting to know each other. There’s so much more to me than what meets the eye. Unfortunately this ad permits only 200 words and I’ve already used them up. 🙂 Or maybe it’s 250 words. At any rate it’s not nearly enough. So please, write me a letter and I’ll get back to you with a lot more depth. Sincerely, Steven.
That ad didn’t produce desired results. So I posted this ad:
Writeaprisoner.com, huh? What brought you to this site? What’s the attraction? Hmmm…all I have to say is choose wisely. Most of the men I am around are bad news.
Don’t be fooled by the charming smiles and sweet words. 80% of the men in here have a hidden agenda. They’re users and abusers looking for a meal ticket.
My agenda is up front and simple. I’ve been in prison for 16 years and I’m looking for a sexy lady. I’m looking for a fun, flirty friendship. I want to hug, kiss, hold hands, and look at a pretty face.
I’m realistic, honest, and remorseful. I love to talk in depth about any subject. I’m not looking for any handouts. I just want a sexy lady in my life. Race and age doesn’t matter. If I’m attracted, we can get it rolling. I’m not your typical prisoner. I’m grounded and well rounded. No tats, no hate groups. I love life, I love people, I love my family and friends. I love kids and animals. I love and respect women. I’d love to have someone special in my life. Maybe it’s YOU!
Although these ads were producing a lot of hits, they were attracting the wrong type of people for me. So I decided to just cut to the chase and put it out there. I then posted this ad:
I am looking for a sexy lady to marry me and have conjugal visits with. So, what’s up? Wanna do it? No drama, no stress. Just come make love. Keep your last name and continue to enjoy your life as you know it.
I’ve been in prison for 18 years (since I was 20) and have 20 to go. I’m damn near a virgin! I don’t have any STD’s and prefer you don’t either. I am strong, healthy, and ready to bless some lucky lady. I’ve had several offers but had to respectfully decline. Although it’s been a very long time, I am not so desperate that I’ll fall for the first willing lady. I’m patient and I’ll continue to wait for the right person. Write me a letter and lets talk about it. I’ll bring excitement and adventure to your life.
That ad brought me a wave of responses like never before. Ladies that were closer to my type started to hit me up. That’s when I knew I was on to something.
At this point, all of my ads were posted on Writeaprisoner.com. But because of all the encouraging responses from my last ad, I decided to post an ad on Goodprisoners.com as well. It read like this:
Yep, that’s what I’m looking for. But its not what you think silly little freak. Let me explain…I’ve been in for 18 years and I have 19 years left. At first, conjugal visits were for men who were married prior to prison. But recently a law passed that allows men to get married while in prison. So that’s what I want, a sexy beautiful lady who is willing to legally marry me and have conjugal visits with me. No drama, no stress, just love – an amazing out of this world love! Keep your life, keep your name, and continue to do whatever it is that you do.
The only difference is now you have this amazing surreal sexual sabbatical to look forward to. What I have to offer is not just for anyone. I’ve already had several offers. I refuse to settle if she isn’t up to par. I’m not some desperate bum sitting in prison. I have drive and passion. I’m about to publish the following books and sell them worldwide: Stone City…Life In The Penitentiary; Chirpy…The Amazing Little Jailbird; 101 Ways To Get Your Ass Kicked In Prison; Poems From Prison; Prison Ink; Prison Diaries; The Prison Yearbook Project; How I Made Millions From Prison.
I’m clean, fit, no STDs, don’t smoke or use drugs. I’m very remorseful for my crimes and I strive for redemption. I’m open, honest, and full of love and compassion. I want to bless you as much as you’d bless me in this special type of relationship. If I’m not for you, pass me on to a friend. I’ll compensate you if you find me my lover. E-mail me via Jpay.com. I’m on Facebook or just write me. Please include a picture, thanks.
That ad hit hard! Ladies were hitting me up left & right. I wasn’t sure who to choose until I got a letter from Suzie. This woman is the absolute best! She is the love of my life. I am so lucky to have found her. True love is out there if you keep searching,…and its sooo worth the wait!
And that my friends, is how I found love from within prison.