Tagged: prison marriage

Taking The Edge Off Prison Life

 

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The following poem was written back in June of 1996. Back then I was a drug using, drug selling, violent little badass. I was at Walla Walla, living with Mikey and Jeff. When we were using drugs and smoking joints people use to walk by our cell, look in, and fiend. A lot of guys would stop at our bars and try to make small talk in hopes it would lead to a free hit, or a joint.

(To read more about this crazy time in my life, please check out my ebook called, STONE CITY: LIFE IN THE PENITENTIARY. Specifically, Chapter: 7.)

 

TAKING THE EDGE OFF PRISON LIFE

Waking up slow to the practical jokes,
where coffee is a must and everyone smokes.

Take a deep breath you can smell the green,
as the broke walk by they look in and fiend.

People say I’m gone how I wish that was true,
the fact is that I’m here so let me tell you what I do.

I kick em in the face sometimes I choke em out,
But then I get away with it and that’s what its about.

So please don’t mess because I gotta confess,
when it comes to fighting dirty I’m one of the best.

So what if I’m small so what if you’re tall,
within ten seconds guarantee you will fall.

The hell with taking the edge off prison life,
its more like taking your head off with my prison knife!

 

That poem illustrates just how sick my thoughts were. As a result, my actions were extremely destructive. I was oblivious to the fact that I induced my own suffering and hardships.

Now, it is with a joyous heart that I share a more recent poem that was written on 10-25-13, in the midst of enlightenment and spiritual awakening. I am so blessed to have this gentle love in my life. THIS is what takes the edge off of prison life for me these days.

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THE MAGIC OF HER LOVE

Love is like magic, at least it is for me.
I pulled a rabbit out the hat, and her name is Suzie.

She transformed my world, a cold hard place.
By showing me a warm soft glow, within the beauty of her face.

Our situation is unique, and to some very strange.
But there’s nothing in this world that love can’t change.

Her love is so pure, understanding and kind.
She loves with all her heart, body, soul and mind.

Her love is so powerful, it reaches my core.
Her love is a love I’ve never felt before.

Her love is a love in which I’ve been seeking.
Her love is a language in which I’m now speaking.

Her love is the love that inspires my life.
Her love is the love that I’ve found in my wife.

 

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Steven Jennings

True Love Never Gives Up

 

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Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:7

 

Every marriage faces choppy waters. Divorce is at an all time high. Just the other day I heard a guy in here talking about how he’s about to “fire his wife!” He’s tripping on her because she’s slow-walking his food package.

UNBELIEVABLE!!!

Actually, no it’s not. So many men in here play games with love and emotions. They are not sincere with their love. They are users and abusers. They continue to use until the money dries up, or till they get released. These type of relationships are scattered throughout prison visiting rooms all across America. It breaks my heart and it’s sad to see.

I sincerely love my wife with all my heart. All I wanna do is love this woman and make her happy. No drama, no stress, no arguing, no fighting.

Wouldn’t that be sweet?
Oh, it is!!!

Suzie and I enjoy a strong circle of harmony. But every now and then, we find ourselves in choppy waters. In those times, it is my duty as a husband, to take positive steps that will change the emotional climate and calm the choppy waters.

Smooth sailing in the sea of love is always possible when true love guides the heart.

I’m not perfect, and I still have a lot to learn. But one thing I know for sure is that I love my wife with all my heart and I will forever cherish her and the sweet love she gives me. My #1 priority in our marriage is to treat Suzie with nothing but love, understanding, compassion, and respect.

Our mantra: LOVE CONQUERS ALL!

There’s so much I can’t give this magnificent woman…at least not right now. But what I can give her, is the unconditional love she desires and longs for. I can always give her my very best! When it comes to our marriage and our love, I will always put forth effort, as I maintain faith and hope that our love will only grow stronger throughout our journey.

I love you my sweet Suzie. Thank you for blessing my life with your precious love.

 

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Steven Jennings

 

 

The Sweetest Letter From My Husband

 

I’ve asked my beautiful wife to attend this year’s “Significant Woman’s Event” with me. Her love is so special and dear in my life. Here, she shares the letter I wrote to her with my invitation…

Suzie M. Jennings

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I will always remember the exact moment I read this very letter. A flood of tender love & emotion ran through me and instantly healed my heart from hurtful words. I truly felt what it is like to forgive quickly and to forget all previous painful conversations. It was as though this letter hit the “refresh” button for my mind and heart.

It’s hard to explain, but I instantly felt safe. Such a huge burden was lifted off of my shoulders in a single second, and replaced with pure wholesomeness & comfort. I completely love my husband and how he snuggles so perfectly into my heart and soul.  ❤

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Hello My Sweet Ladylove,

I love you…I miss you.

Early on in our relationship I said some things according to how I felt at that time. I said some things that formed in my mind as a result of being single, alone, and in prison…

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What Marriage Means To Me

 

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LOVE!!! True love from the heart & soul.

I love my lady with all my heart. She has sacrificed so much to be with me. She has given me the beautiful gift of love.

Love is something that is rare in prison. I should know…I went almost 20 years without love.

I’m talking about the intimate love of my woman. I’m talking about an actual lover…soft kisses, long hugs, holding hands, gazing into beautiful green eyes, and endless sweet talk.

My wife, Suzie, gives me sooo much more than that. She gives me hope for the future. She gives me comfort & joy as she offers endless support, encouragement, and inspiration. The gifts she gives me are priceless as they dramatically improve the quality of my life.

In return, I give her my very best. I don’t argue or fight with her. I listen and understand. And even if I don’t understand, I take the time to hear her out.

I’m always there for her with love & support…no matter what!

True love is kind, compassionate, and understanding. It doesn’t keep records of mistakes or short comings. It is forgiving and appreciative.

Suzie is with me because she wants to be…not because she has to be. Therefore I love my lady in a way that will make it easy for her to stay with me forever. I make her & her emotional needs my #1 priority! She is my #1 in this world.

I will forever love, honor, and cherish my wife. But a lot of men say that. Then they are divorced within 5 years. That’s because a lot of men take women for granted. They don’t appreciate them. They don’t cherish them with all their heart.

The most important thing in my life is my wife. My heart longs for her during the weeks/months that we are apart. I am constantly telling her how much I love her. But even more importantly, I SHOW her how much I love her through my actions and how I treat her. She gets nothing but love & respect from me. Period!

The following letter is just one example as to why I love and honor my wife sooo much. I absolutely love the way she loves me!

 

My Sweet Steven,

I LOVE YOU!

I am so happy to have found a husband like you, whom I can grow & learn with. I love this journey we are on and I can feel our bond growing stronger as we learn more about each other. I love loving you! And I love the unity and partnership that I feel in my heart. You, your love, and your mind inspire me on sooo many levels, baby. I am incredibly lucky to have a husband who I fall in love with every single day. Thank you for loving & supporting me through my struggles. And thank you for putting a smile on my face & in my heart when I truly needed it most. You are an exceptionally amazing man! And I love you dearly. Mwah!

Your One & Only,
Suzie

 

Awww, how sweet! Its letters like these that add fuel to the burning love that I have for my wife. She continues to motivate & inspire me in many ways. She is the reason why I love so strongly.

After I received that letter from her, I wrote her a poem. This poem was inspired by her love and the wise words of Ernest Holmes.

 

UNITY

I truly realize that I am one with my lady;
YOU and I are ONE.

I can’t hide from you
for we are one.

I hold you dear to my heart,
on the highest level,
as you are enthroned in my temple of flesh.

I feel your presence within my most
secret places.

I rejoice in the sound of your voice.
My body responds to the thought of your touch.

You are my perfect soulmate as you
bring wholeness to my life.

Because of you,
I am complete and perfectly content.

Discord thoughts flee from me,
as your light of love shines deep within my soul.

Your light of love is eternal,
it is the light of my life.

Every time I come into your presence,
whether its mentally or physically,
I come with love, joy, and thanksgiving.

You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Thank you my beautiful lady for giving me
the wonderful, powerful, magnificent gift of love!

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And THAT, my friends…is what marriage means to me 🙂

 

 

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Steven Jennings

A Letter To My Wife’s Family

 

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Who would want their daughter, sister, aunt, or any family member to get involved with a man in prison? Not me! I could only imagine. But this is the situation for Suzie’s family. She’s involved with me. We’re in love. We’re married.

Here is a letter that I wrote to her family:

 

Dear Suzie’s Family,

Um…Hi. I’m a little nervous, so please bare with me. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I sincerely hope you do so with an open mind.

What is love?
What does it mean to truly love someone?
What is the ultimate goal in life?

To me, these answers are quite simple. The ultimate goal is to be happy. To truly love someone means to treat them with respect and compassion at all times. Love is kind, gentle, and understanding.

I love Suzie. She is so sweet, kind, and compassionate. I recognize all her unique personal characteristics, and I absolutely love who she is as a person.

I promise all of you that I will always treat Suzie with love and respect. All I want to do is bring her happiness and joy.

Suzie & I confide in each other. Our love is open and honest without the fear of ridicule or harsh judgment. We have a strong foundation of trust and honesty that has allowed our relationship to grow into something very special. I’ve never known anything like this before. But now that I’ve experienced this, I want it forever.

Forever is a long time. That means peeks and valleys are on the horizon. When dilemma’s and conflicts appear, I promise to seek peaceful solutions that won’t upset the harmony of our relationship. In doing so, these type of situations that usually breaks others down, will only strengthen us.

Suzie inspires me in so many ways. She inspires me to keep on the righteous path and to work hard towards my goals. She inspires me to dream of a life full of love, joy, and happiness. And now she has given me the opportunity to achieve all my dreams.

I promise to do the same for her. Through love, support, and understanding, I will inspire my lovely lady to be the best she can be and to reach her full potential. I will encourage her every step of the way as she works towards her goals. Suzie has dreams and desires. Together, we will fulfill them.

Suzie has a lifelong partner in me. My incarceration has enabled me to view life through a different lens. I appreciate my blessings. I cherish my friends and family. And I absolutely worship my lady. I promise to do everything within my power to make Suzie happy and to maintain this strong circle of harmony that surrounds our relationship.

Suzie is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. She inspires me to be the best thing that’s ever happened to her. She is an amazing woman who I love with all my heart. She deserves so much better than a man in prison. That’s one of the many reasons why I am so committed to giving her a very special kind of love. The kind of love she deserves, the kind of love she desires and longs for. A love that only knows peace & harmony.

Please give me and my love for Suzie a chance. Please see me for who I am, not where I am. I know you have questions. Feel free to ask anything. I’ll always respond with a honest answer.

In closing, I’d like to point out that I could’ve wrote anything on these pages. And that wouldn’t necessarily make it true. People can say anything. So please just view this letter as an outline of what to expect from me. The tangible truth will be found within my actions, and by the way I will always treat Suzie.

Sincerely,
Steven Jennings

To My Wife…

 

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My Sweet Darling,

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN AIR!!! Thank you for bringing me serenity, intimacy, love, and joy. I am in prison. I am not supposed to feel these things. Yet you find amazing ways to give me these in abundance. Without you a large part of my Being would suffocate in my own demise.

Our journey of minds have become ONE. I absolutely love & cherish the fact that together we know there is a state of consciousness that heals instantly. I’ve lived a huge portion of my life unaware that this state of consciousness exists. This is a gift that you have given me. You have opened my eyes.

When I am with you, I am at my happiest. Do you have any idea how much love & excitement you bring to my life? My heart beats for you. Not only are you my wife, you are my best friend. I am so lucky to have you. You are all things good in my life. You are my greatest source of love & happiness.

MWAH….on your cheek.

I love you with all my heart & soul.

 

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Your Husband,
Steven Jennings

 

PS – Please check out our blog: Real Love Letters

My Prison Wedding

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As you all know, I recently got married. I was surprised at how surprised some of you were. My Aunt Mindy didn’t even know I could get married while in prison. Mindy…thank you for your kind comment and your support. I cannot wait for my entire family to meet my wife!

Well do you all know that in April of 2017, I’ll be getting conjugal visits with my wife? OMG! Talk about excitement. Suzie and I will get to spend 48 hours together. Alone. Naked. Free to do anything we desire. We’ll be able to have these visits (called EFV’s) every 40 days or so. EFV stands for Extended Family Visit.

EFV’s are allowed with immediate family only: mom, dad, brothers, sisters, wife, kids, and grandparents. No aunts, cousins, step parents, or anything like that. The only thing better than an EFV with my family, is an EFV with my wife. But first, I had to get married. Here is how the whole marriage process worked:

#1) First off…I found the love of my life. (see: How I Found Love From Within Prison).

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#2) After I found my lovely soon-to-be-wife, we had to fill out lots of paperwork. Some of that paperwork was to inform Suzie of what I am in prison for and for how long. She also received a summary of my actual crime. Then they ask her if she still wants to proceed.

They do all this because inmates lie and manipulate. Not all, but most. As for me, I’ve always been honest and upfront. Everything DOC told Suzie, I had already told her. And then some.

#3) After Suzie agreed to proceed, we had to do some pre-marital counseling with Reverend Walker. He concluded that we are a good fit, he had no objections, and he recommended that our marriage process advance to the next stage.

#4) Then Suzie and I each had to write an essay to the Facility Risk Management Team (FRMT), which they then look over and either approve or deny our marriage. We were approved!

Essay topic: why we wanted to get married. For two people as in love as we are, that topic was a piece of cake!

#5) Suzie got our marriage license while visiting me here in WA. Normally, the intended bride and groom must fill this out together in person. We did it through the postal service. She sent it to me to get signed and notarized, then I sent it back to her to get signed and notarized. It took longer than normal, but it got completed.

#6) Then it was time to set a date. We asked for Feb. 20th. They gave us Feb. 27th.

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On Feb 20th, Suzie left California and started her 14 hour drive to Washington. On that very day is when a huge gang fight broke out. SCCC went on lockdown! We were going to spend Fri, Sat, Sun, & Mon visiting with one another before our wedding ceremony.

Things didn’t go as planned. All visits got canceled. We had absolutely no way to contact each other. Even our wedding date was in jeopardy of getting canceled. It was torture being so close, yet unable to visit. But we both remained positive & strong as we waited this out.

Finally the lockdown was cleared. I was able to call my fiancé to tell her that our wedding was still on!

At 10am on Feb 27th, I walked into the visiting room and saw my beautiful bride. Thirty minutes later, it was official…we were husband & wife.

Suzie is an amazing woman to have married me under these circumstances. Every girl dreams about their wedding day. None of those dreams take place in a prison visiting room.

We kept our ceremony to the bare minimal, small and simple. We had 2 witness’s: my buddy Matt Ruth (see Guiltyashellrecords.com), and my wonderful mother.

I have promised to give my wife the wedding of her dreams when I come home. Whatever my lady wants, she shall have. And it all starts with my love and devotion. I will give her the love she desires. I will honor and respect her at all times. I will constantly strive to be her dream man. It’s the least I can do for my lady who is willing to ride this out with me.

I love Suzie dearly with my whole heart. I am forever hers.

My thoughtful sister has created a Honey Fund for Suzie & I. To learn more, please visit the link here: http://www.honeyfund.com/wedding/jennings.

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My Letter To Suzie’s Family

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Who would want their daughter, sister, aunt, or any family member to get involved with a man in prison? Not me! I could only imagine.

But this is the situation for Suzie’s family. She’s involved with me. We’re in love. We’re getting married. And her family doesn’t even know.

So, Suzie & I feel like it’s time to let them know about our relationship. Here is the first letter that I’ve written to her family:

***

Dear Suzie’s Family,

Um…Hi. I’m a little nervous, so please bare with me. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I sincerely hope you do so with an open mind.

What is love?
What does it mean to truly love someone?
What is the ultimate goal in life?

To me, these answers are quite simple.
The ultimate goal is to be happy. To truly love someone means to treat them with respect and compassion at all times. Love is kind, gentle, and understanding.

I love Suzie. She is so sweet, kind, and compassionate. I recognize all her unique personal characteristics, and I absolutely love who she is as a person.

I promise all of you that I will always treat Suzie with love and respect. All I want to do is bring her happiness and joy.

Suzie & I confide in each other. Our love is open and honest without the fear of ridicule or harsh judgment. We have a strong foundation of trust and honesty that has allowed our relationship to grow into something very special. I’ve never known anything like this before. But now that I’ve experienced this, I want it forever.

Forever is a long time. That means peeks and valleys are on the horizon. When dilemma’s and conflicts appear, I promise to seek peaceful solutions that won’t upset the harmony of our relationship. In doing so, these type of situations that usually breaks others down, will only strengthen us.

Suzie inspires me in so many ways. She inspires me to keep on the righteous path and to work hard towards my goals. She inspires me to dream of a life full of love, joy, and happiness. And now she has given me the opportunity to achieve all my dreams. I promise to do the same for her. Through love, support, and understanding, I will inspire my lovely lady to be the best she can be and to reach her full potential. I will encourage her every step of the way as she works towards her goals. Suzie has dreams and desires. Together, we will fulfill them.

Suzie has a lifelong partner in me. My incarceration has enabled me to view life through a different lens. I appreciate my blessings. I cherish my friends and family. And I absolutely worship my lady. I promise to do everything within my power to make Suzie happy and to maintain this strong circle of harmony that surrounds our relationship.

Suzie is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. She inspires me to be the best thing that’s ever happened to her. She is an amazing woman who I love with all my heart. She deserves so much better than a man in prison. That’s one of the many reasons why I am so committed to giving her a very special kind of love. The kind of love she deserves, the kind of love she desires and longs for. A love that only knows peace & harmony.

Please give me and my love for Suzie a chance. Please see me for who I am, not where I am. I know you have questions. Feel free to ask anything. I’ll always respond with a honest answer.

In closing, I’d like to point out that I could’ve wrote anything on these pages. And that wouldn’t necessarily make it true. People can say anything. So please just view this letter as an outline of what to expect from me. The tangible truth will be found within my actions, and by the way I will always treat Suzie.

Sincerely,
Steven D. Jennings