After reading an email from my sweet wife about what she is thankful for, I realized that my previous Thanksgiving post was incomplete. I failed to mention the things that I am thankful for.
I’m thankful for having such a wonderful family. Starting with my wife. She is so incredibly kind and loving. Her dedication & loyalty is absolutely impeccable. I am so blessed to have her. Thank you, Suzie!
I’m thankful for my amazing mother and all of her love & support. Thanks, mom! I love you.
I’m thankful for my sisters, and my nieces & nephew. I’m especially thankful for my brother-in-laws and how they treat my sisters and their kids.
Wow! There’s so much to be thankful for.
I’m thankful for my Friends.
I’m thankful for my readers and followers.
I’m thankful for being in The Dog Program.
I’m thankful for the opportunity to blog.
I’m thankful to be alive and to have a release date.
I’m thankful for my Marriage.
I’m thankful for clothes to wear and food to eat.
I’m thankful for JPay.
I’m thankful for football season.
I’m thankful for Influential Books to read.
I’m thankful for my health.
I’m thankful for Stone City Blog.
I’m thankful for the opportunity to take NA classes to earn back good time.
I’m thankful for all my blessings and for all the people who love & support me.
This event was much needed for my wife and I. We spent quality time loving each other face to face.
As she walked in, I stood up and waved my arms. She quickly identified me. Her face lit up as she got closer and closer. She looked so beautiful in the outfit I picked out for her.
Finally she reached my arms. I held her tight as I gave her a long hug.. I kissed all over her pretty face. I bit her cheeks…gently. I sniffed her hair. Then I smooched all over her soft lips. No French kiss…just some soft, slow, passionate, long over-due smooching. I’ll save all the French kisses for our EFV’s in nine months when I’m making sweet passionate love to her ALL NIGHT LONG!
After our intro, I pulled out her chair and we sat. I kissed her a few more times as I asked how her trip went. I spent some time telling her how much I love her and how thankful I am for her sweet love. Then I showed her the corsage I made. My wife absolutely loves flowers. After she smelled it, I pinned it just above one of her voluptuous double D’s.
She caught me looking at her milky mountains and said, “Whatchya looking at?”
I just looked up into her gorgeous green eyes, kissed her lips, and said, “Do you have any idea what I’m going to do with those things in nine months?”
She looked at me with her innocent eyes as she shook her head, “No.” Her adorableness was almost too much! With my pointer finger I directed her to come in close to me. I had a secret I wanted to tell her. As she leaned in, I gently gripped the back of her head and kissed from her lips, across her cheek, and to her ear. That’s when I completely dog tongued her entire ear as I penetrated her tight little ear hole.
She tried to pull away, but I’m too strong. I kept my wife right where I wanted her. Then I whispered, “I’m going to massage warm baby oil all over your huge fun bags before I…. (you’ll just have to read our erotic ebooks if you want all the details).
Despite two huge distractions smack dab in my face, I finally got that corsage pinned on. Then I asked her, “Have you ever played paddle ball with your chin?”
She looks at me with an unsure look and says, “No.”
In which I respond, “Don’t worry, baby. I’m going to teach you that game in nine months…you’ll love it!”
Anytime I mention “nine months” she knows I’m referring to our EFV’s (aka: conjugal visits), and all of a sudden my sexual innuendos make perfect sense to her.
Before we know it, lunch is being served and we’re making a toast to each other. We inner lock our arms and sip on some expensive bubbly Apple Cider. I can’t resist…I lean in and kiss my wife again. I thank her for marrying me and for all the love she brings to my world. Then as the afternoon faded into evening, we played along with the Newlywed Game and I read her my gratitude letter:
My Lovely Suzie,
I am so thankful for the sweet love and affection you bring to my life. You create wonderful sensations within my heart that otherwise would not exist. Your gift of love has truly changed my life. Thank you so much for all you do and all that you are. I recognize all the sacrifices you make for us. You are a great woman with a powerful and consistent love. Your dedication and commitment is so impressive. I admire you greatly. Mwah! I am so thankful for your sweet, gentle soul, and your caring ways. You are by far the best woman I know. With you as my beautiful wife, I am a better man. Let’s hug! I love you.
Despite the guard having to tell me three times to keep my hands off my wife, we had a perfect visit!
As it was time to say goodbye, Suzie asked me, “Do you want to be the last ones hugging?”
I took her in my arms and we out-hugged everyone in that room! Then I watched her walk out the door and up the walkway as we continued to blow kisses and maintain eye contact. Only when I couldn’t see her anymore, did I turn and leave the room.
I headed back to my unit the happiest man in this joint.
Thank you, Suzie…I LOVE YOU!
The Significant Woman’s Event is on May 1st, 2016. Suzie and I absolutely love this event. It’s more like a date rather than a visit in prison.
This event is all about honoring the special woman in my life who has provided ongoing support, sacrifice, and encouragement: My loving wife, Suzie. The activities are designed to assist in fostering the growth & strengthening of our beautiful relationship.
I make and give her a corsage. We are served food and drinks just like in a restaurant. We get up and dance with each other. I take her to a private section where I read her a sweet, emotional, loving, gratitude letter.
You can read what this amazing event was like for us last year:
As you can see, this event is very special to us, and means a great deal to us both.
That’s why we’re humbly requesting some financial help so Suzie can make the trip from California to Washington for this event. Please help make this special day possible for us. Take a peek at our GoFundMe page.
Having a dog is so awesome.
Having a dog in prison…priceless!
I’ve never had a celly jump up with excitement the second I walk in the door. And on the flip side, I’ve never been excited to return to my cell. I am extremely thankful and appreciative for this magnificent animal, and it is my honor to share a cell with him.
Here is a typical day with the best celly I’ve ever had:
I wake up around 7am and open his crate. He comes bursting out, tail a wagging.
I massage his face, neck, and ears as I kiss his nose, and say in a soft loving voice, “Good morning buddy. I love you…yes I do….yes I do….awww…..does that feel good…. huh…..does that feel good (kiss kiss) I love you…” This goes on for a minute or two, or three….okay, maybe four or five.
After our brief good morning hellos, I say, “Yahoo, sit.” He sits and watches me with hungry eyes as I measure out three quarters of a cup of premium dry dog food. He watches me pour it in his bowl.
I back away and say, “Yahoo, wait.” He patiently waits as he literally drools on the floor.
Then I say, “Yahoo, eat.” And he digs in.
As he eats, I go brush my grill, fix the Euro-Hawk, and drain the lizzard.
Then I take Yahoo out for his morning duties. He’s like clock work. He’s potty trained very well and will even go on command. All I gotta say is, “Yahoo, Break!” He’ll then look for the perfect blade of grass, lift his leg, and give the insects a golden shower.
Throughout the day, 90% of my interaction with Yahoo is an opportunity to train. He heels by my side on the leash. He stops and sits at every doorway. He lays down. He stays. He comes. He goes in his crate. All of this is on command.
I’ll drop food on the floor and say, “leave it!” He leaves it.
In five minutes I taught him how to jump straight up. First I get him all excited. Then I say, “Yahoo, jump!” And he does it.
At 4:30pm my celly, Dicky, feeds him again. Same amount, same method. Yahoo is fat, so he’s on a diet.
In the evenings I do a little jogging with Yahoo. As we run, he stays by my side, doesn’t get in the way, and keeps pace with a variety of speeds.
At the end of the day I lay on the floor with him as I pet and talk to him. Then he goes into his crate, and I crawl up on my bunk.
Yahoo would be an awesome dog for someone who is always home. All he wants to do is relax with humans, eat, and sleep. He doesn’t like to leave the cell and he doesn’t like other animals. Yahoo needs a quiet home with a relaxed, low energy owner. For that person, Yahoo would make the perfect companion.
For information on how to adopt Yahoo & other dogs, go to: HAVA
Or contact Christine Balcom at: firstname.lastname@example.org
PS – Look! I got Yahoo to smile for the camera. 🙂
Every meeting starts off the same way. Someone will read the ”INTRODUCTION”. Followed by:
WHO IS AN ADDICT
WHAT IS THE NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS PROGRAM?
WHY ARE WE HERE?
HOW IT WORKS
THE TWELVE TRADITIONS OF NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS
All these readings are on laminated cards scattered among addicts. The text is from the sixth edition book of “Narcotics Anonymous.”
The opening ceremony also includes the Serenity Prayer, followed by a moment of silence to recognize the addicts who still suffer. During this moment of silence, I thought of my old friend, Jessi Phillips.
Jessi wrote me back in the mid 90’s when I was in the county jail facing 43 years in prison. She wrote me a lot at first. But eventually the letters slowed down and then stopped. Little did I know that she was suffering from addiction.
Jessi was a beautiful and kind person who had a desire to work with children. Addiction robbed her of that! She fought her addiction. She had a desire to be clean and sober. But her sickness was too strong. She lost custody of her baby. She lost the trust and respect of her close friends and family. And she lost her life. To addiction!
Throughout her battle, she would have moments of sobriety, and I would get a letter or two from her. Here is the last email I got from her before she relapsed and was murdered by her addiction:
Hello sweet stranger! I received your email. Thank you so much. I’m always so happy when I see you are doing well…. it honestly makes me smile. Life for me has not turned out the way I planned. I never knew addiction would have the power it has had over me but the one thing is that I never stop fighting it though I often lose that battle. My beautiful daughter Madisyn turned 2 on January 17th. I don’t know if you’ve seen pictures but man I don’t know how I produced that gorgeous drop of heaven. I haven’t seen her since October due to the fact that I gave temp custody to my aunt and my visits with her need to be supervised and cost $60 an hour and its messed up that because I didn’t have funds to pay we had to go without seeing one another. My aunt is making it very difficult, I believe to teach me a lesson but she needs to think of Maddi’s needs. I’ve made many mistakes but not in the way I’ve been a mom. So tell me what you are up to? How is life and when the hell are you getting out?
Every time I go to NA meetings, I get something extremely valuable…ADDED PERSPECTIVE! These meetings stimulate me into a deeper level of consciousness. I think about things on a deeper, more indepth level. NA is helping me understand PRIORITIES and what’s really IMPORTANT in life.
*To keep nurturing my mind in a positive manner by continueing to read powerful and influential literature.
*To continue to do what works for me.
*To love everyone.
*To treat everyone with dignity and respect…no matter what.
*To keep going strong down the path of right action.
These are the things I focus on. Life is all about the choices we make. You reap what you sow.
“If you don’t like the situation you’re in, change it! If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.”
At first I was skeptical about going to NA. I didn’t think I needed it. I didn’t like it. I didn’t want to go. But then I changed the way I thought about it. I kept an open mind and approached it with a positive attitude. Now, I actually enjoy these meetings. I appreciate what they offer and how they affect me.
If it wasn’t for NA, none of these ”NA posts” would exist. And that means all the specific thought process that it takes to write these posts, wouldn’t exist. This entire element of NA would be non-existent within my mind.
NA has helped me to grow and evolve as I continue my journey of self-discovery, self-improvement, redemption, and rehabilitation.
I am thankful for all this good. I am thankful for NA. And for my loving wife, Suzie…I am thankful for all her love and devotion. For without her, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I love you baby! MWAH!!!
I went to brunch at 8:30 am. Then layed around and watched football.
Then went to dinner at 5:00 pm. I had: fried chicken, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravey, yams, fruit salad, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie w/whiped cream.
It was actually pretty darn good! I was thankful.
Then I came back, hopped up on my bunk, and watched Chicago beat Green Bay! Who knew???
From 7-7:30pm, there was a live band made up of inmates who played a few songs in the dayroom.
I’ve never seen that before…not in the unit dayroom! It was cool. They were good.
But wait!!! The festive events arn’t over yet…
Today (Friday) was the start of several tournaments. I entered the Dominoe tournament. I won my first match and advanced in the bracket.
Then I subbmitted my name for the Pie Eating Contest. Outta 60 submittions…I got randomly selected. I ate one Chocolate Cream pie in 1:28! That was good enough for 1st place! By 5 seconds!!! I got a big ribbon that says: 2015 PIE EATING CHAMPION
Then the whole unit played BINGO for bags of homemade cookies. I was sitting at a table w/two other guys. We all agreed that if anyone of us win…we’ll split the cookies 3 ways. One of us won!!! The cookies were delicious.
I am so thankful for life.
No matter where we are…life is what we make of it.
The great joy of life comes into my soul, flooding me with love and thanksgiving.
I do not grieve or feel sorry for myself, because nothing is lost or gone from me.
I have friends and family who love me. I have the most sensitive, loving, wife in the world. I have inner peace with a spirit of love and appreciation.
No matter where I am, or where I go, peace, love, and serenity will follow me.
I keep my friends and family in my heart…they are always with me.
I am filled with the joy of living and the great peace that comes to all who believe in the power of love.
Happy Holidays To Everyone!
Enjoy your blessings & love your family.
I am sharing the journal I kept while I did 7 months in the hole.
Dec. 29th, 2008 @ 2am
I tried calling my mom yesterday and found out the prison has blocked all my numbers. That means I can’t call anyone. This week I’ll try to get that fixed. All I can do is write a kite to my case manager. We’ll see!
The hardest part of prison is hole time. Because it makes you think more. Things just pop into mind. Good and bad.
Lately I’ve been thinking about my crime. I wonder how could I have actually carried through with such an act. I think about my family and all the pain I’ve caused. I think about the victims and all their friends and families, and how I hurt so many people.
I’m in a tight little box with just me and my thoughts. When my thoughts get too intense, I force myself to switch gears. I seek the positive aspects that are within painful situations and thoughts.
For example, I’m thankful no one died. I’m thankful that I have a release date. I’m thankful that I won’t die as an old man in prison.
Despite my situation, I’m so lucky in so many ways. And that’s what I like to focus on.
Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house – too much of you, and he will hate you. Proverbs 25:17
And I will hate him! This explains why I don’t sit with the same guys every day in the chow hall. And why I don’t have a consistent workout partner. I like to bounce around and take people in moderation. Too much of one person gets on my nerves.
If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. Proverbs 25:21
After the riot in Colorado, they locked me in a cell with Terry. An enemy. Read chapter 24 (The Riot) in my ebook, Stone City: Life In The Penitentiary, to see how I treated Terry.
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 25:24
For 9 years I searched for a wife. I placed adds all over the internet (see: How I Found Love From Within Prison). I had dozens of women offering to marry me. Some would say, “Yes, let’s do it” in their very first letter. As I explored these women, I realized that they were very quarrelsome! And I would rather live on the corner of a cold dark roof than marry a quarrelsome wife.
Then I met Suzie. My perfect little angel. She truly is my reward for being patient and waiting for my perfect match. Good things come to those who wait!
Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself. Proverbs 26:4
This is something I’ve been extremely mindful of. In here foolish lips run wild! The response to such foolishness becomes compulsive. But in the light of spiritual awakeness, I am aware. I am able to control my mind, rather than IT control me. The arguments I win are the ones I don’t engage in. More and more I am simply walking away.
As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly. Proverbs 26:11
Ewwwww……gross! Focus on the things that serve you well.
Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth. Proverbs 27:1
Focus on today. Show love and respect today. Obey the scripture today. Tell your kids you love them today. Live in the moment and discover the power of now. Simplify your life and focus on one day at a time.
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17
As water reflects a face, so a man’s heart reflects the man. Proverbs 27:19
I love these simple truths. They open my mind and inspire me to strive for more. Thank God for the teachings of Jesus.
Evil men do not understand justice, but those who seek the Lord understand it fully. Proverbs 28:5
A lack of understanding is a recipe for disaster. I am so thankful for the teachings of Jesus. Through scripture, I gain understanding.
He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. Proverbs 28:13
I confess and renounce! Please God, have mercy on my soul.
He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe. Proverbs 28:26
For years I thought I could trust in myself by saying,” No more fighting. Do what’s right.” Although it was a step in the right direction, I still found myself in trouble. Through trial and error, I have realized that I CANNOT do it on my own. I need the teachings of Jesus in my life. I need that divine wisdom. I have finally found the way to a happy, prosperous life. Never again will I try to do it on my own.
An evil man is snared by his own sin, but a righteous one can sing and be glad. Proverbs 29:6
Goodbye being snared by my own sin. Hello songs and gladness. Is it coincidence that I just performed song and dance in front of the entire visiting room? Where did that strength and courage come from? That’s something I thought I’d NEVER do.
A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. Proverbs 29:11
Goodbye being a fool. Hello self-control. Life has never been better. Who knew I’d be saying that from within prison!
If something is viewed by many people, it will be described in many ways. The Bible is no exception. In order for the Bible to work for me, I must pick and choose the scriptures that serve me well. I must be honest, not all scriptures serve me well. As a matter of fact, a lot of scriptures discourage me. That’s why I went years without spiritual guidance. That’s why I question, “Is there really a God?”
Every word of God is flawless, he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. Proverbs 30:5
I know this to be un-true. Just look at the world. Some of the most heinous crimes take place in the church.
Do not add to his words, or he will rebuke you and prove you a liar. Proverbs 30:6
Have you ever heard one preacher who didn’t add to His words? Every preacher in the world adds to His words. Are they liars?
The eye that mocks a father, that scorns obedience to a mother, will be pecked out by the ravens of the valley, will be eaten by the vultures. Proverbs 30:17
There are people who believe EVERY word in the Bible. I am not one of those people. I believe the Bible is a good book of morals and precepts. I know that great truth can be found within the practical scriptures. I believe that if you seek spiritual guidance through the teachings of Jesus, then you’ll live a righteous life. If you’re one of those people who ignore the Bible because of similar reasons I just mentioned….don’t do it! I made that mistake for years. One thing that is very evident is: My life is sooo much more peaceful, and has so much more joy in it now that I’ve committed my ways to the practical teachings of Jesus.
Most of my writing focuses on practical scriptures that I want to apply to my life. However, I don’t agree with EVERY scripture in the Bible. This goes against the fundamental belief of most Christians who believe and agree with every word in the Bible. My conscious of right or wrong, simply won’t let me do that.
Give beer to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish. Proverbs 31:6
Can you imagine walking around an ICU floor in a hospital, with two cases of Budweiser as you pass them out to those who are perishing? Or perhaps you’d find it more suiting to visit an Asylum or a Psychiatric Ward, with four gallons of red wine for all the people who are in anguish.
Let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more. Proverbs 31:7
Yeah right! If only it were that simple. The truth is, the Bible offers great spiritual guidance for those who seek it. Be practical and focus on the teachings that will make you a better person. Find what works for you and stick with it.
Thanks for following along as I read the book of Proverbs and shared my perspectives. I’ve gained insightful teachings from the Bible that I will be mindful of in my daily life.